My Only Family
by The Hermione Granger Fan Club
Summary: The night before an eleven-year-old Ron leaves for Hogwarts, Peter Pettigrew observes the Weasleys as they eat together and remembers people he hoped never to think of again.


It's almost painful to be around them. These Weasleys, who've been my keepers and carers for years and years. It's Ron's last night at home with his family- he's eleven, or was it twelve? No, the twins are twelve... thirteen in April.   
  
I ran from Sirius. Even I was surprised at how much I managed to blow up with my wand, when he confronted me the day after the Potter deaths. It was him or me! Trying to make me feel guilty, "We were Marauders, Wormtail! Didn't that mean anything to you!" There is no such thing as guilt, when you're on the side of the world's greatest wizard... Lord Voldemort.   
  
I shattered him that day. I never knew I was so powerful. I shattered an entire world. I'm powerful, more powerful than Moony or Snape or even Prongs and Lily. I've done so much.   
  
I'd been on the run for days and ended up in the village of Catchpole. I wandered along the streets, scrounging for scraps and crumbs like a sewer rat. I'm better than that! I'm a person, damn it! I was in the high street when I bumped into a shoe and found myself staring up into the face of a small boy named Percy. He looked like the sort of kid James would've loved to tease- glasses, neat centre parting, skinny and tall. He had this score of brothers with him too, and a small sister. He didn't look the rat-owning type, but it was probably the most spontaneous thing he ever did, scooping me up from the pavement and putting me in his pocket.   
  
I've been given to Ron. He's taking me to Hogwarts again... I went with Percy the last four years, slept curled at his feet. Ron isn't a bad kid, but (and late at night, this makes me shudder)- b-but... he is uncannily like Sirius. BLACK! I call him Black now. Not Sirius, not Padfoot. He is Black, the Black Muggle-lover, the Black fool.   
  
Not Sirius.   
  
It is startling how alike they are. The same sense of humour, and Sirius was also never one for neatness. They talk so similarly. Is that a bad thing? It scares me out of my wits.   
  
God... those twins! Will they ever stop? They've set off their Filibuster Firework display under Ron's chair! He shot a foot in the air, went careering sideways into Ginny, who burst into tears and shoved him off. Ginny's a funny one. Fiercely protective of her six brothers, she'll be a tough sulky little thing one second, then the protected baby of the family.   
  
Bill is laughing all over the place at Ron's flaming face, the twins' evil smirks and Mrs Weasley roaring at her delinquent sons. No one's like Bill. Out of Hogwarts, with worryingly long hair, a different girlfriend every Thursday and the prospect of a brilliant future ahead of him, Bill is surely going to make a name for himself in the wizarding world.   
  
Just like James.   
  
NO! Not James! Not Lily, Lily and her chalk-white face as she saw me by the gate that night, years ago. She clutched Harry, she was at the door of the house in Godric's Hollow. Tears streamed like shimmering snow down her face. I stood guard at the gate while my Lord did what he had to do. No guilt involved. I rocked back and forth, wondering... looked up, saw Lily, saw her reach the door and see me through the glass. Her bloodless lips formed the name 'Peter', and the way she looked at me- I've never been looked at like that. She looked terrified, and disappointed, and betrayed.   
  
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" my master screamed, and there was a flash of green light. I'd opened the gate, stepped forward. Determinedly, she'd extracted her wand from her sleeve, when we'd both heard it. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" The two words that ended her.   
  
Not literally. Not at that second. Her face fell, and her tears fell. She then did the craziest thing. She turned around, Harry in the crook of her arm, and headed back.   
  
She'd've gotten clean away! Lily Potter was a thousand times more powerful than I, it wouldn't have been a problem getting past me. Then she could steal away into the night. But she wouldn't leave, for the mad hope that somehow she could save her husband, that fool J- Pro- Potter. That stupid Potter.   
  
He killed her. Not me, not my Lord. James killed her. I am not to blame.   
  
Why am I hiding, then?   
  
"God, that was priceless!" yells Charlie, the eighteen-year-old recent graduate of Hogwarts. He grins in a very twin-like way. Talented Seeker, that Charlie. He wears a Weasley jumper to dinner. It's red, with a picture of a Snitch on it. It's last year's jumper, getting small for him, but he likes it, I can tell.   
  
"We rule!" George bellows, pumping a freckled fist in the air over Ron, who is sprawled on the floor.   
  
"We kick ass!" Fred yells in answer.   
  
"Don't you use that language around us!" scolds Molly Weasley. "You two are to apologise to your brother right now, d'you hear?"   
  
"Yes Master, I obey!" cry both twins in perfect unison. They'd've made great Marauders...   
  
NO!   
  
"Bu-ut," says George slyly, "not before we've-" He nods at Fred, who whips out his wand and yells, "Accio Percy's prefect badge!" It flies into Fred's hand and the two of them edge toward the door, Filibuster sparks reflecting off their evil countenances.   
  
"Give that back!" yells Percy, jumping to his feet.   
  
"- flushed this down the loo," finishes George, and the twins scamper out of the room.   
  
"GIVE IT BACK!" howls Percy, lunging after them.   
  
Ginny laughs a laugh reminiscent of Bill. "After them!", she shrieks, and everyone is on their feet, jostling to all get through the door at once.   
  
"Owww!"   
  
"Oof!"   
  
"Gerroff, Ron!"   
  
There is a slam of a bathroom door from upstairs. With a bellow of something unintelligable, Percy charges up the stairs.   
  
Charlie skids to a stop in the doorway, cracking up at the sight of his family following the demonic teens known as Fred and George. He turns around and grabs me off the shelf where I sit, observing, and chortles, "C'mon, Scabbers, you don't want to miss all the fun!"   
  
So like Moony, including even the family pet in a hijink...   
  
NO! Not like Moony! Who cares about Moo- Lupin?   
  
I don't. I DON'T!   
  
There are hints of tears on Ginny's cheeks as she ducks and swerves her way up the stairs. Red hair... tears... no baby though, but what would a ten-year-old be doing with a baby. She isn't like Lily AT ALL!   
  
"George and Fred Weasley, if you flush your brother's Prefect badge down the toilet you will not live to see the school year!" yells Arthur through the door. Ron sniggers. Bill guffaws.   
  
"Shan't!" yells George, and he flushes the toilet in a menacing, warning kind of way. He and Fred burst into laughter.  
  
"OPEN THIS DOOR!" roars Percy, rattling the lock.   
  
"Wouldn't do that if I were you," mutters Ginny, collecting an evil glare from Percy.   
  
"Ooh, Ginny's right! Tell 'em, Georgie!" calls Fred.   
  
"You'll have to meet our demands if you want to see the Prefect badge alive again!"   
  
Oh, God. James....... he sounded so much like James. I couldn't even place which twin it was, but... Prongs.   
  
NOOOOO!   
  
Why, of all families, did I pick this one? A family so innocent, so full of laughter? So like the... I have to say it, but I don't mean it, honestly! So like the friends I lost.   
  
These people, so fresh-faced, idealistic- they will torture me from now until the end of time.   
  
They are so like those I conspired to kill.   
  
Do they see me, in my rat form, cringing as they laugh.   
  
A girl with red hair who cries with laughter, two mischief-makers, one destined for great things, a Quidditch player, a moral person, a boy so like Sirius I am afraid of him... I hate them so much, and yet they're my only family.   
  
*************************************************************************************************  
DISCLAIMER: All the people that you recognise from the Harry Potter series belong to a literal wizard named Joanne Rowling. 


End file.
